Sunday, January 25, 2015

Amusing Altered Pictures/Political Humor

New company policies can be a bit wearing at first but at least you will be allowed to defend yourself. Text on Picture:
Attention all Staff RE: New Policy
Starting immediately, all personnel will arm themselves before reporting to their work area. The most effective way to keep massive egos in check is through the Opinion/Editorial section of a newspaper but as of late, several people lost their lives because a military conquest disguised as a religion of peace still refuses to grow up. It is okay for these people to show disrespect to other religions but they somehow think their Prophet Muhammad is out of bounds regarding the same treatment. Here is some 411: He isn't and as long as you condone omnicide, decapitate innocent people and vow to kill and destroy anyone and anything that doesn't conform to your myopic world view, your prophet and your faith will be lampooned and subject to ridicule. Attacking a newsroom using deadly force will no longer be tolerated.
Keep an eye on your new Employee ID Badges (With FundieTracker(TM)). When your badge
starts flashing red on black, it will be time to lock and load and kill the next and subsequent waves of intolerant dysgenes hell bent on wreaking havoc. You will own then at the same time ceasing to be a victim.

Level Green: Those of the Islamic faith are behaving. Code Yellow: Al-Taqiyyah  is on the rise; Muslims giving infidels dirty looks. Code Red: Muslims waving around firearms and celebrating yet another omnicide attack. Code Black: Angry and armed intrusion at your place of employment. Do not stop firing until warning level abates. (Maintenance will collect the dead.)

This summarizes how I see the above picture. From now on, terrorist cowards that cover their faces will be said to be wearing mouth or face diapers (A good term considering the shit that comes out of their mouths.) while calling them cowards is truly a no-brainer.

It looks like Japan has gone full circle as ISIS threatens to kill two Japanese hostages unless 200 million dollars is paid.  If the ransom is paid, it will only empower ISIS that much more but if a suitable objection is raised.....

I do not believe in Political Correctness, As always, any and all commentary is welcome. Until the next post.....

A Jaded Bard

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Friday, January 23, 2015

American Horror Story: Freak Show Finale left some loose threads

I waited with anticipation to watch the fourth season finale of American Horror Story but I was leftg with a few unanswered questions.

WARNING: Spoiler Alerts Follow This Text!!
The end was as shocking as it was somewhat uplifting in the end, While Dandy Mott finally gained his wish to be the star of the show, Elsa Mars went on to a run on television and Jimmy Darling is finally with the Bette and Dot Tattler but:
Where is Del at the end of the finale? Did he go to hell for murdering Ma Petit?
Meep was never avenged nor did I see him at the end of the show. Did they forget about him?
I originally thought that the Elsa Mars character was going to become the older nun on 'Asylum' but I guess I was mistaken.
Jimmy Darling was broken free of police custody (causing the deaths of two more police officers) while being transported back to prison. He was initially arrested for the six murders of the Tupperware women but how did he beat the rap?
Who buried the freaks in a mass grave? The one woman allegedly weighed 800 pounds and she would hardly be movable by Jimmy and Desiree let alone just Jimmy.
What happened to the mutilated Stanley?
Despite these questions, I find that the writing for the show is top grade and it is truly unpredictable from episode to episode. I will be looking forward to the fifth season.
A Jaded Bard

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Wednesday, January 07, 2015

Why I no longer watch Falling Skies

When Falling Skies first debuted, I was willing to watch it; the concept was rather intriguing. How would humans react to a ground invasion by aliens. I could even put aside the insipid PC that appears to permeate most every show on television these days. As I watched the first season of the show, I began to be more disgusted with each episode that I saw. It is too bad that Noah Wyle's talent is being wasted in this fashion. I originally posted this for the most part on a 'Falling Skies' forum but apparently someone deleted the post. What started out as a decent premise devolved into this touchy feely crap concerning the human love affairs and the overwhelming threat of the alien invaders. In addition to spidery looking quasi humanoid 'Skitters', you have ponderous and heavy sounding robots called 'Mechs' and the humanoid overlord race controlling things. So what is wrong with this show?

Touchy Feely crap is over the top - According to the blurb about the show, the aliens exterminated 90% of the human race...or over six billion people. Trying to make peace with them or find a common ground with them is so much utter bullshit. A more realistic reaction would be to dig a grave big enough for 6 billion aliens and then start filling it.

How can a 'Mech' 'stun' someone? - In the first episode, the oldest son of Noah Wyle's character loses his girlfriend from an alien attack. Later on, he says that the Mech 'stunned' the both of them. If the Mech is using DU ordnance (depleted uranium is usually an armor piercing round), how exactly do you 'stun' someone with such a thing? This also leads to two other points....

Do not use aliens or the equivalent to plug up gaping plot holes! - While many of your viewers may be awed by seeing an alien in your show, plugging a plot hole with one is an insult to those of us who both read AND write science fiction. We would be ripped apart if we did something like that in our novels so what makes you think that you can get away with it? Now for the other point....

These aliens crossed interstellar space to get here; do they also have massive internal combustion engines on their spaceships? - It is rather stupid to have the Mechs spitting bullets and firing rockets because a race that can travel between star systems would be beyond what essentially is 16th century technology. You could also stun someone with a laser and the Mechs are heavy enough without the weight of ordnance.  regarding the Mechs and the humans and what ordnance they have....

Bad Ammunition or stupid Mechs? - When the humans fight the Mechs, they allegedly have hundreds of armor piercing rounds but they are only attacked by a single Mech and judging by a post battle bullet count, they fired off at least 200 rounds. ..but the Mech still manages to wander away...with only ONE penetrating bullet wound. As many times as that single Mech was hit, it should have been scrap iron but perhaps the new ammunition wasn't as good as it was expected to be? Maybe there had to be a stupid firefight to cover up another massive plot hole.....

Casting Idiocy - Though the oldest son and his new flame are around the same age in real life, she looks like she is in her mid thirties while he looks like he is seventeen; she looks like a pederast.

The Pope Character - (Pimp? Poop? Peep?) You have to have a male bad boy character in shows like these but since when do they have perfect teeth and are free of chemical dependency? How much more two dimensional can you get? They are allowed to drink beer but no one can smoke cigarettes... Err...Roger that......

In General - The aliens used an EMP burst to knock out a lot of electronics but EMP shielding is in use at least at the military level. Why wasn't there at least some retaliation? Some sort of irradiated area would add credence to the show. A 'mule' missile might only be LOS to an extent, but its low tech wouldn't be affected by EMP.

In Conclusion - When I watch a show on the television or a movie at a theater, the goal is for me to suspend disbelief...not look in utter disbelief as I see slipshod writing, unbelievable or illogical plot mechanisms, gaping plot holes and such an adherence to PC stereotypes that not even frequent ass shots of Moon Bloodgood and her assistant can carry the day. If I have learned anything from this show, it is what NOT to write and to do research if I am unsure of something.

A Jaded Bard

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